How to Remember People's Names
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I’m not sure if I have ever discussed it on the blog, but I’m an extroverted introvert. I enjoy talking to people, but small talk is THE WORST and I need alone time to recharge. Events and such make me anxious, because what if I don’t know anyone? I’m not really the type to walk up to a gaggle of girls and say “Hi, I’m Lauren!”. To be honest, I love bringing Nick to events with me, because that way I never have to worry about talking - he will literally talk to a wall! I’m also one of those people who like to find one person to talk to, and then talk to them for the rest of the night. I knowwww it isn’t good for networking, but again. Anxiety! What if people don’t actually want to talk to me? What if they think I’m interrupting them or inconveniencing them? I know, I know. I’m a crazy person!
All that to say, one of mine and Nick’s new year’s resolutions is to do something out of our comfort zone every month. You guessed it - ‘twas Nick’s idea ;) But I’m up for the challenge! We recently decided what is going to be our home church in LA. We went with Mosaic! Anyway,I was invited to brunch with some girls from the church last weekend. The person who invited me actually couldn’t go, so I KNEW NO ONE. Guess what? I went! And no, Nick wasn’t there. Hah! It went better than I could have imagined, and I can’t wait to see them all again. Small talk doesn’t have to suck if you are with intentional people, but that’s another topic for another time.
Vince Camuto Tie Front Wide Leg Jumpsuit | Vince Heels | Senreve Maestra Bag in Sand (get $50 off w/code ELLEMULENOS - read my review of the maestra here!)
No onto remembering people’s names… I have a great memory. Nick tells me that my brain is like a data base. I’ll remember what you said last week, what you didn’t say, when your birthday is, andddd what your favorite color is; however, when it comes to names, I’ve never been good. You know at church where you have to turn and meet someone?I’ve always dreaded it. I don’t think the negative connotations are helping me remember either. I mean if you’re in a class with me? That’s different! I’ll remember you. If I don’t, I’ll at least remember your face. BUT these small talk gatherings, where there are a lot of people, some who you never really expect to see again, I have a major issue with those. People will introduce themselves and it will go in one ear and out the other. I knew if I was going to go to this brunch, that I needed to be very intentional about remembering their names, sooo here we are. Long story short, I remembered their names AND decided to add it as a somewhat late goal to my 2020 list. I want to try to remember more names and I figured some of you would too! It’s always a good idea to try and remember names, since it makes people feel welcomed and accepted; so, here are some tips that I implemented last weekend that actually worked!
Actually Try. I had to say this because I literally wasn’t trying. It was just going through the motions. You know when people ask you how you are doing and you say “good, how are you” without even thinking if you’re actually “good” or not? That’s what it felt like meeting people at most events and such. I’m currently suggesting to make it top of mind and give it a go. Being aware of this is the first and most simple step!
Repeat Name. When someone voices their name, say it out loud back to them. “Oh hi Nick, my name is Lauren”. Not going to lie, that is a pretty simple step too ;) Saying their name out loud, assists your brain in storing the data in long term memory.
Face to Name. This is a somewhat harder task. If you are lucky enough to be with them for a while, then it is easier. If you are meeting them and they are leaving, you’ll have to do this fairly quickly. For this past weekend, we ended up sitting all around a table. While everyone was talking - I was still listening and engaged, but I went around the circle and matched each name with their face, several times. All in my head of course ;) I would go clockwise, counter-clockwise, every other, and even random. I would literally just look at them, think their name, and then look at them again, to help put it to memorization. I was basically occasionally quizzing myself throughout the afternoon.
Don’t be afraid to ask again. Be humble and just say I’m sorry, what was your name again? You literally just met them and it’s better to ask now, than later, thoughhh if you’re nice about it, I think asking a year from now is okay too. As long as you haven’t seen them in a while. Hah! If you’re too embarrassed to ask again and happen to have someone they haven’t met before, just introduce your friend and wait for them to (hopefully) say their name again.
Sign off with your name and repeat their name. I learned this trick a couple years ago at a Christmas party. A girl did this to me and I was so impressed! She knew I had just met her and when it was time to leave, she shook my hand and said “ Suzy Q (re-stating her name), it was so great to meet you tonight, Lauren!” I was like oh my word, that is amazing. She told me her dad was a politician and so that is where she learned it. So good! A great way to remember AND be remembered!
Replay and associate. I’ve always heard associating something with a person helps to remember them and their name, but to be quite frank, that is really distracting. It doesn’t work well for me. I can’t engage in the conversation AND try and associate the person with something. If I’m having trouble remembering the name or just want to practice, on my way home I’ll think through who I met and what was discussed / traits, so I can pair facts with faces. And names of course!
Send an email. Nick is really good about this. When we meet people, he’ll not only document who / what in Evernote, but will get their information and send a quick email. He includes basic things like where we met, how we met, a comment we shared, our names, where we live, and a photo by the signature! For example “Hi Noel and Sarabeth, It was so great meeting you at El Fenix in Dallas. My wife Lauren and I love Texmex - glad we could bond over guacamole! Let us know if you’re ever in LA. We’d love to grab coffee!” I don’t have an Evernote, but love making email searchable. Use key words that you’d be likely to search, so when you are trying to look up their info, you can remember what to even look for. Additionally laying out the details of meeting, helps you retain the information as well!
How do you remember names? Any tips I didn’t include? Let me know - I’m still looking to get better!
Okay, now to my outfit. It has been a month since I really showed you workwear, so I’m glad to be back on track. I mean I showed you the world’s chicest pull-on pants here, so do they even count?! Regardless, this jumpsuit is fantastic. It for sure falls under Pantone’s 2020 color of the year, classic blue AND Nick even liked it. Don’t take that the wrong way - he generally likes what I wear! I just feel like jumpsuits are kind of a girl’s favorite thing to wear and guys typically aren’t fans. This color also screams spring, which I’m so ready for! Fits TTS - wearing a 4. $99, comes in 4 colors, and has pockets!
Any requests for other women in the workplace topics? Let me know. I love how this series has grown and continued!
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